Transformer
by Shinobu
Summary: Heero and Duo have it made on a desert island, until HE shows up.


****

Authors note: The following story is essentially a comedy, but does contain some "limey" sexual bits. Be forewarned.

****

TRANSFORMER

by Shinobu

The Caribbean Island had been an Earth Sphere Alliance training facility, but it had not been used for years, even when there _was_ an Earth Sphere Alliance. Now the Alliance was as dead as this base, so it was the perfect place to "lay low" for a while and regroup. Heero Yuy had been here for just over a week, working on Wing Zero, resting, and thinking- lots of thinking. The boy who consumed most of his thoughts had just arrived yesterday in his mobile suit, and from the moment Deathscythe had appeared overhead, Heero had been filled with a sense of- anticipation.

The island was hot and humid, so Duo Maxwell was clothed only in a pair of shorts as he emerged from the hut. "Man, oh man, that shower sure felt good!" he said as he rubbed a towel over his long, brown hair. His great mane was sopped as he sat down on a chaise lounge, leaned back, and toweled at his head, trying to begin the process of drying and braiding his trademark hair. Heero placed two large glasses of iced tea on a small table next to where his comrade was seated, then took the towel from Duo's hand. 

"Here, let me help" Yuy said as he draped the brown hair over the back edge of the lounge chair and began to rub at the wet locks. "How often do you wash this anyway?"

"Once a year, whether…"

"it needs it or not, yeah, yeah. If I didn't know you better, I'd be tempted to think you were telling the truth" countered Heero as he continued his adopted chore. 

Duo took a sip of the tea and placed the glass back on the table as a smile broke across his face. "Hey, you know me, I never run away.."

"and you never lie, yeah, yeah. Comb."

As Duo handed his helper the comb, his smile faded. "Have you heard from any of the others yet? I'm startin' to get a little, well, concerned."

"Trowa called in a few hours before you arrived yesterday. He said he and Quatre would be a little late, but they'll be here by Saturday" Heero acknowledged as he worked to tame a particularly vicious tangle.

"Late huh? Wow, OZ must be making things tough for them."

Wing Zero's pilot continued combing. _Oh Duo, you're such an innocent puppy. They'll be late alright, but I'd wager OZ has little to do with it._

"And Wufei? I suppose like usual nobody's heard from him" Duo snorted with a bit of disdain for the Chinese pilot.

"Wufei is Wufei" Heero said flatly. "I'm sure he'll do his customary thing- blunder in at the most inopportune time."

The gentle ocean breeze fought a losing battle with the late afternoon sun. As the conversation continued, it was obvious that things would continue to heat up. "Jeeze Heero" Duo began in the manner of someone who thought they were about to say something clever, "you're getting really good at this hair thing. Thanks a lot. Maybe next time you see her, Relena would let you brush her hair, what do ya think... yowch! That hurts! Okay, okay, I won't use the "R" word again."

A raw nerve hit, Heero stopped the grooming, shifted positions to the side of the lounge chair, and exchanged the comb for a sip of his tea. "You're done. This tea needs more ice." He got up to refresh his drink.

__

Stupid, Duo. Really stupid! the Master of Deathscythe thought as Heero returned and rested on knees beside his reclining friend. _All right, a little change of the subject is called for._ An awkward silence died as it was swept away by Duo's voice and a light wind. 

"Boy, oh boy, it sure is hot." 

Heero just stared at him. Awkwardness resurrected.

"You just came out of the shower not more than twenty minutes ago."

"Yeah, but it's this humidity, pal. I'm used to outer space- very low humidity there you know" Maxwell joked. "Man, I'm already covered in sweat again."

Heero knew a lot about tactics, and if this wasn't an opening, Dorothy Catalonia didn't need an eyebrow transplant. The pilot of Wing Zero reached into the nearest glass of tea with his right hand, picked out an ice cube, then pretended to "throw" it at his Gundam partner. Cool droplets of water and tea splashed on Duo's stomach.

"Hey, that's cold!" the junk boy protested.

"You said you were hot" Hero said softly, as he took the ice cube and placed it on Duo's chest. A squirm, but no resistance. He rubbed the cube slowly across the hairless chest to Duo's right breast. There, Heero repeatedly dragged the ice ever so gently across the now erect nipple, then bend his head down to bring his lips close to his labor. "I just wanted to cool you down."

"Somehow, I don't think that's gonna do it" a nervous voice replied.

As Heero started to apply his lips to Duo's right nipple, his hand took the remains of the ice cube to its left twin in order to start "the Treatment" there. "Do you want me to stop?" he said, not looking up or expecting a reply.

Duo Maxwell could not respond. The usually verbose "God of Death" could not speak, and was just now realizing it was he who was being slain. As the ice melted along with Duo's composure, he understood that nothing in a lifetime of junk sweeping and Gundam combat training had prepared him for this moment. He couldn't even move. No, that was a lie, because he just become conscious of the fact that his right hand was now squarely planted on Heero's buttocks. He began to speak, but his first attempt came out more of a moan. As he rallied to say something (anything!), Heero placed his index finger on Duo's lips, and a droplet of water dripped into Duo's mouth. Heero's face was now inches away from his companion's.

"Before you say anything, just listen." He seemed to wait for a response, and Duo managed a small headshake in the affirmative. 

Heero spoke softly, but steadily. "I'm tired of waiting for a future that might never happen. I've always said and believed that a person has to act on their emotions. We _might_ meet somebody special. We _might_ create a better world. We also _might_ die tomorrow, if not in battle, then some other way- some stupid, meaningless way. This is now and this is real. If we never realize our dreams, we'll have this. And even if we do have our dreams come true, whatever they may be, we'll _still_ have this and each other- now and forever."

Duo's heart was racing, but his mind was strangely at ease. After a moment that seemed to craw by on hands and knees, he finally spoke in a voice that almost resembled his usual bravado. "You're quite the guy, Heero. Why don't you show me just how much of a guy you really are?"

A thin smile spread over Heero's face. "Mission accepted" he murmured as their lips met.

Just minutes afterward, the sky exploded with the sound of a Gundam engine. The young couple looked at each other and simultaneously grimaced, then grinned. "Unbelievable" Heero muttered under his breath as they broke their embrace, and his partner gave him a gentle kiss on the cheek. "It's okay," Duo said, and as he threw his freshly mussed hair behind his shoulders, he asked "Later?", raising both eyebrows in a question. Heero said nothing, but a single nod of the head answered, and Duo smiled.

The newly arrived Gundam had touched down at the landing area, where it could be easily camouflaged. The couple could hear the footsteps of the pilot as he walked toward the hut clearing. Both Yuy and Maxwell were now seated in separate chairs, sipping on fresh ice teas as the newcomer emerged from the tropical forest. 

The pair looked up and froze. Their mouths were dropped open, their eyes went wide as saucers, the two young warriors were unable to move for a long second. They stared. They stared at him, at Wufei. The Master of Nataku stood before them in the jungle clearing, dressed in a white cotton blouse and pearl necklace, a tight fitting blue wrap skirt, sheer white stockings, and matching high heel shoes. He looked simply stunning.

Heero was the first to actually react. He fell to the ground in a fit of laughter. Doubled up in a seizure of hysterics, the pilot of Zero One roared hilariously. Pounding his fist on the sand after what must have been many minutes, he finally looked up at Wufei again, and struggled to gain control. He failed, falling back into an orgy of merriment.

It was still another several minutes before Heero could make another attempt at sobriety, and only gathered himself upon seeing that Duo was _not_ laughing. The longhaired boy was staring at Wufei alright, but it slowly dawned on Heero that Duo wore an entranced expression rather than one of shock or glee. 

All this time, Wufei had remained motionless- an icy glare on his comrades. Finally, Duo spoke. "Wufei. Hey, er… ah… what's new?" Heero collapsed again.

*** *** ***

"Wufei- what the hell do you think you're doing?" asked Heero Yuy as the trio now sat around a table next to the hut. Duo had hurried to make more tea, and Heero had finally regained some semblance of control. "I thought you were in China helping Sally Po."

"I _was_ in China, _Heero_" the Chinese pilot began, saying his fellow warrior's name as if it were a knife he was twisting into the young man's back. "And I was helping Sally Po. But actually, it was the other way around. Sally Po was helping me.

"What do you mean buddy?" asked Duo as he refilled glasses.

"I went to China to help Sally because I thought, as a woman, she could not fight. Well, I was wrong. I went there expecting to find weaklings. What I found was that it was I who was the weakling. Sally showed me an inner strength I never believed possible in a woman. A formidable strength. A superior strength. A strength I realized I must have."

Duo sat transfixed. Heero rolled his eyes and remarked "So she turned you into a crossdresser." 

"More than that, much more. But you can't understand Heero. You won't- your mind is closed. Go ahead, be weak. Damn you, you weakling! I have seen the way of the Woman Warrior! Oh, I was a fool for coming here. I'm going back to Sally- at least I'm understood there." And with that, Wufei rose and strode into the forest.

Later, as the afternoon was coming to an end and shadows became long in the camp, Wufei returned in a simple sundress and sandals to find Duo on his chaise lounge, reading. "Hey, what you reading?" he asked on his approach.

"Wufei! I'm glad you came back pal. Oh, the book? It's a Sherlock Holmes story called _The Chinese Junk Affair_. It's about this…"

"Never mind" he said as he sat down on a chair directly next to and facing the Long Haired One. "Duo, I apologize for storming out like that. Heero makes me so angry. How he can be so pig headed one minute and such an imposing fighter the next, well…"

"Yeah, he's quite the guy." 

Wufei scooted his chair ever so much closer. "Actually Duo, I think _you're_ quite a guy too. I know Heero will never understand me, but as certain as I am of that, I'm also certain that you _do_ understand. I saw it in your eyes today when I arrived." He took Maxwell's hand in his as he switched from the chair to the edge of the chaise. "Come with me Duo. Let me show you what Sally Po showed me. Let me show you the power that comes from wearing women's undergarments. Once you've slipped into a silk teddy to fight a whole squadron of Mobile Dolls, you'll never want to go back…"

"Well, well. What have we here?" said Heero arriving on the scene. "Returned to lure away my friend? You think you can just put on a skirt, fly in her, and Duo's going to jump at the chance to be with you? Think again Wu-fag!."

The pair on the chaise lounge looked at Heero. Duo gave a mental sigh. _Hoo boy, this ain't gonna be pretty…_

Wufei rose, glaring at Heero. "I challenge you to a duel for Duo! A duel in our Gundams!"

Duo's mouth dropped open and he silently spoke Wufei's name as Heero replied. "What? That's ridiculous!" 

Duo looked at Heero. "I dunno, I think it would be kinda cool."

Heero returned his gaze. "Duo! God, Relena's looking better all the time."

"Whoa! Way to cut me Heero."

"Enough!" Wufei shouted. "Well Heero? What will it be? Will you fight or are you just WEAK! I'm going to take your lover from you because you're too weak to deserve him. He was your bitch, but now I'm going to be his, and you won't even fight to get him back. You pusillanimous coward! How pitiable! How pathetic!

"Wufei- you're a moron" Heero said.

"Simpleton" Wufei responded.

"Outcast!"

"Pink limousine chaser!!"

"Treize's whipping boy!!"

"Pacifist plane slicer!!!"

"Tramp!!!"

Wufei's eye's widened. "Who are you calling a tramp!" he yelled as he started toward Heero. Suddenly, a pistol appeared in Heero's hand, seemingly from nowhere. As he leveled the weapon directly at Wufei, he gave him a warning. "I will kill you."

Nataku's pilot chuckled. "That line may work with pacifist schoolgirls Heero, but it won't work with a _real_ woman."

"You are NOT a real woman!" Heero shouted angrily.

"Damn you, quit torturing me!" Wufei screamed and crumpled to the ground, crying.

Duo sighed. "Life was so much simpler in the junk yard."


End file.
